Luke 9:62
Monday 5th November: He wondered if God got lonely. Yes he supposed. We were after all created in his image. perhaps that was what it was all about. Creation. A response to the loneliness of God. That was the hardest thing, he reflected, about celibacy. It wasn't the absence of sex. It was the loneliness that made it difficult. Not to be able to share your life with just one other person. The absence of that intimacy. And he recognised the downside, that it was a perversion of loneliness that drove much of that sin that was adultery - that drove him in his betrayal of his commitment to the church by undertaking this affair. The church should be enough. But he needed her, like God needed the lost sheep, with a desperate yearning that transcended sexuality. She looked at him then, her eyes opening in languid thoughtfulness. "You told him everything?"
Sebastian nodded.
"Everything?"
David Sebastian watched her. He liked looking at her. The long curve of her neck could best Berlin's bust of Nefertiti, or so he thought. The way her hair cascaded about her was magic. And now she was naked he liked watching her all the more. The soft down of the feint hair on her forearms. The concave hollow of her belly. And then there were her breasts, beyond delightful. He ached to bury his face between them. And yet she wasn't perfect. She was that little bit plump, her backside exquisitely Rubinesque, her waistline betraying the feint striations of stretch marks, from a time when she'd once been too overweight, this particular flaw making her all the more attractive in his eyes. Not that he was having a Shallow Hal experience. He was quite conscious of there being more of her than many men would find attractive. But if all men liked the same thing, there'd be a sight more fighting and there was enough of that already.
And again he felt uncontrollably aroused. He had had her just now and he should be replete he told himself. That he wasn't was the product of years of abstinence or so he believed. The ache was mounting in his groin and he knew it would soon be unbearable.
And she knew it. She blushed then. "Stop looking at my breasts," she said, embarrassed.
"I can't," he said.
She lifted her body from the bed where she'd been lying, with her head on her hand. She sat up so she could look down at him. "So what did the bishop say?"
Seb found it hard to concentrate on conversation. With a near Herculean effort he tore his gaze from the fulsome body of the woman looming above him and looked into her slate-blue eyes. It didn't really make it any easier. "I expected him to tell me to leave you," Seb smiled. "But he didn't."
"He said what then?"
Seb reached up a hand and caressed her shoulder, stroking her down her spine so that she trembled just a little as he talked. "Well I told him everything. I had to. Then we prayed together. Then he said that the decision was not about you, so much as about the church. That I should decide whether to stay with O.L.P.H. - and he said he'd give me time for that."
Now it was becoming difficult for her. She moaned slightly but she wouldn't let go of the topic. She shook her shoulders as if to shake away his hand. "But he means you to continue officiating?"
Seb shook his head. His hand had moved down to her waist, resting there a moment. "Of course not, He will ask Monseigneur Davidson to reduce my duties. People will assume it's for R and R reasons, given all that's happened. He says to let them think that."
Angie smiled. "So you get more time for me." She laughed and reached over and pinched the inside of his thigh. Then shrieked as Seb pulled her down, her laughter stifled into a moan by the weight of him as he gathered her up, swung her over onto her back and pushed her legs apart with his and pressed himself between her thighs and then right into her. And she responded with an inward gasp, and for a last rational moment she realised how much she loved him. Then his mouth covered hers and she felt both suffocated and consumed as the passion in her took over and she surrendered to the raw heat of the moment, reaching for his buttocks like an animal, pulling him in deeper still and urging him on with her slender hands.
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